Kasemart - aisle 3, mens boxers, good morning mr slippa - going down??

ALTernate TITle #1 - PM breaks a rim, Slippah licks a rim

ALTernate TiTle #2  - "hot lips, cold feet"

Alt Fin "kase - the slippah diss"

Too many fockers to list so here is who WASN'T there - LUTC, shake, budha, dead beat steve, #11 red.  The massive group split up from the start pukemaster group #1 - setting land speed records up the yellow, to the chimney trail (barbie - jon your rim is bent worse than mine - just a sidenote)... , to conversation peak, back to ledges where we stall for semi ridiculouse bike stunts at the "burning gap" and im not just talking about how my ass feels after those beans at PITS house.  Crash cleans it (again), with option 3 droppoff where he gets his shorts caught on his seat and almost looses a nad or 2.  I finally clean it with an impressive - ehhhm rear wheel hop followed by cry baby soup whimpy drop..  Down the rest of the ledges - hammer time - everyone gets air of the last log - seniore p even gets some style points (he's back in action and peeing all over the aisles of Kasemart)..   Meanwhile - quote of the evening from Hot Lips "I never came like that - that was great"..   Well she was "riding" with like 13 guys (a couple questionable) so moans on the trail are expected..  Onwardo - up fire trail - we see boulders that only air jess would consider - to the blue.  Craig and I drop off the starting gate boulder with ease, seniore p taking pictures of our ankles and the sky - just kidding man..  More blue - bushwack climb crash test gets pulled down by snake like fingers popping through the leaves,  through some rock gardens that used to be hard but you can pretty much ride full speed now - Pit looses it in some loose stuff- to Big tree - crash test finally makes it without blood and stomach churning inverted dismounts.  I flat, barbie passes me bitching about his limp wrist or something - leaves me in the dust heading for gay city. Now I'm everybody, fix the tire, ride 50 ft and blow out my rim (yes thats what the kids are calling it these days - the bike was a mess).  At this point I am entering the "walk of shame", although I ride the mexican wheel until shavings of metal are spitting off my brake  pads.. So im walking the "cabbage trail", and eventually run into air jess on a solo mission with a new hub - so I point him in the general direction of the fockers I was riding with that abandoned me WHAAAAA..  I found some new boulders and possible trails we can make next time, this sucks , im glad I usually break down 50 ft from the car..  Next I see natch getting an early start as usual, he passes the rest of the group but slippah didn't see him because the rocky terrain numbed his hand and im pretty sure at some point he "went blind"  The hearsay is that jess caught up to team "bail on pm" and did some incredible stunts 10' rocks 6' gap drops - wish I was there - gotta get him over to VF with the VC and CB's  sounds like the beginning of a rap song  - "yo I met this girl the other night, super dope body, nice face and many skirt tight"  ....... anyway...  meanwhile Pukemistress team stiff neck did a nice loop and got back at dusk..  

    To PIT's clean green house for a barbie-que (Barbie came too - according to slippaH)...  Slippah shows up after a quick "ride" over the 86 year old neighbors house, he seeped through the "bushes" hoping not to bee seen..  You wonder why he doesn't ride much - with all this action..  Barbie has a broken left hand and must use his right for a while unless slippah is willing to numb his hand again - (its not gay if you cant feel anything)..   PIT makes some yummy raw road kill puke burgers, and mystery meat "tubes", I was stewardess (aka - meatman - heh heh) and carried the burgers  upstairs only after cooling them down with my smelly, sweaty, hairy armpits - I dont need to tell you where I put the hot dogs do I..  Oh hey I forgot to pull one out - is that consider stealing??  Ok this recap is going down faster than a slippa in p-town... so anyway...  YUP slippa bashing night..  Trip to AZ talk - hot lips is excited about adventuring in new terratorry with our crew "groping and feeling and groping and feeling" ..  "pic me pic me - (the hands go up - along with a few other things)..  which leads into a later conversation about how she never married, is going on vacation with 13 guys somewhere that has nude beaches and how the french are better lovers (she's french)..  PMD shows natch her "dog" bite but he figures out pretty quickly that they are my teeth marks on her legs..  YUP I usually attack at the feet (injuring my prey) working my way up....  I could go on and on as you know but choose not to!!  We came (well some of us), we rode (again...), we ate, we drank, we swam, we left..  Thanks PIT, and mamma PIT and little PIT for an EPIC social ride at the puke master in trainings house..  He is so dedicated to becoming the pukemaster he actually bought a house right up the road from me - no joke..  Soon I will be handing you the reins..  Oh some other quotes from the evening.. 

Hot lips "where do you come up with all that stuff in the recaps"

pm "oh I haven't written a recap in months - I have people for that now"

mad dog "who is going to plan the AZ trip"

PM "ill put some of my people on it"

and of course slippa still talking about sitting on his hand (poor hand)

OK - a rating - for K - mart shopping, it was a good ride, a few tech's a few injuries - I say the pit burgers we had tonight (make that armPIT burgers) were healthy in comparison to the toe nail, used bloody condom, pubic hair, rat vomit, corpse flesh, furball, 5 dollar off meat jambalaya that they serve at the Little Taste of Texas in south windsor (a bikerag sponsor - please visit, and mention bikerag.com for 10% off)

Nice ride - sorry for the long recap, but it was a long walk home and my people were following me and taking notes of all the stuttering, rambing words spewing out of my mouth like a slippah at the oyster bar.

PS - slippah is not really gay, but he plays a gay man on TV

PSS - Did you know the mayor was a member of NEMBA - North East Man Boylove Association????  My people found that out

PSSS - This site is actually gay friendly - as you can see - too gay friendly, I have to work on that.  In the future I will try to keep the FAIGE talk to a minimum and the lesbian talk to new heights