Friday - Stunt building early am..  My brainfart of an articulating see-saw is coming to life, like a sperm in a petri dish...  I need help, mental help..  So focker comes over with crazy yellow rope, a pukecycle and unparalleled ambition..  We get the See-saw semi complete and im psyched that it kind of does what I was intending..  So far it has lots of 2x4's, some rope, 3 pulleys, 2 springs, one lazy suzan (the girl under the ramp that throws spears at you) a bearing and one wheel..  I crawl up it on my hands and knees like an curious infant and it functions properly..  We do some other work to it so I think its ready for the test, the upright walking test...  I walk up it, it pivots and I come crumbling to the ground in a pile of twisted 2x4's..  Ok it needs some work..

So we work on the other easy stunts for PMD practice that nearly killed both of us..  Move the mouse trap see-saw on top of Bert's grave.. Focker laying some yellow brick road paths..  Focker decides we need small huck practice so we build some small ramps and do laps in the back yard..  Finally we build a big one and focker gets sketched so he forgets to pull up and crashes into the garden, leaving a nice scar on his calf (not a small cow that we will eat later, but that muscle behind his fibula)...  Next up he chickens out again, this time hitting the breaks - the ramp collapses and he goes east coast west coast..  I had better luck with the big one so rode it several times at differing speeds.. OK - its off to the breast ramp for me, down the hill - huck the 2.5 footer - YEEEEE HAWWWW....  Peacocks were squaking in the background..

Case - New Lot - S&B, PMD, Puke, Focker, Joe Dirt, SSk, GI-Jane and later on the trail we hook up with the Floridians Art & Julianne - oh yeah and Kona, my new best friend..  S&B shows GI the money and is now riding the FSR..  SSK having flashbacks of Derek as a young boy..   First up the carriage path GI's bike is loud as hell, my unmaintenance tips must be wearing off on him.. He kicks it twice and the squeeek goes away..   Chimney trail backwards, I huck the 1.69 footer, then the 2 foot boulder wheelie drop, and then, and then AND THEN, Riders up - a couple passes us and I can tell there not from the area based on their matching bikes and missing teeth (kidding!!), hey its Art and Julianne who were supposed to meet us at the parking lot..  So they U-turn and join us..  GI-J toys with them..  Onward we PEE (yes together crossing streams its a ritual when you meat new people), then get shaken up like a 007 martini glass on loose rocky trails - to pubic hair pin - to log ride - I clean with wheelie off style points..  Jane leading the pack on a mission to ride a completely different loop than Mon, Tues, Wed or Thursdays ride..  SSk hanging back with S&B only because she wants his GU, and gets it, GI-J (the J is for jealous)..

Up past power lines, left towards res.. 1/2 way up res then LEFT on fire road - this is crazy!!  Fire road back to power lines, then straight up power lines to fern..  GI decided since the new couple is from Florida, that they must like sand!!  Lots of great rock riding under the lines, just don't touch the brakes or you will get Zapped..  No joke - it happened..  Cool slickrock stuff, 2 at a time - Joe dirt behind me making ground till I cut im off and raise my hands in the air ...  Victory!!  Art tries the steep slickrock line but gets whipped by it..  He later redeems himself by passing me like I was standing still on the fern downhill..  Focker followed some of my ridiculous lines on the upper fern, yes I was trying to kill people..  Juliane went OTB on the fern - she loves these CT rocks!!    GI way ahead misses all the secret lines, but in his defense was probably air borne over most of them..  Bottom of fern to puke fock rock drop, I ride left, GI rides right roller, to stream crossing dog stunts..  Back towards fort, muddy A-cup..  Skip the fort at bad conversation intersection and continue straight, GI lets me lead but im too slow so he passes at the next fork, Joe dirt going for style points twisting his wheel in the air..  JD is always squirling around..  Cross stream up log ride clean again..   Yes I rule..  To hair-pin..  We point A&J home, exchange bodily fluids, back up that rocky thing to chimney - GI and PMD lead..  UP chiminey, I uturn and launch the 2 footer with S&B..  Back to carriage path, left on blue, fun rock riding, I almost fall in a couple gaps..  Back to parking lot - time for Crusted butte style dinner.

Post ride - So the men gather their meat, while the women go home, shower with each other, and toss some salad..  Yes kids...  GI-J - thats Grillmaster INsane Jane - Rubs 2 sticks (and god know what else) in the fire pit,- and we throw our meat on the fire..  Our women like their meat rare (that's insane rare not well done rare)..  PMD whips up some complicated rice, SSk still tossing the salad, Focker juggling Guinness cans..  I taunt GI about riding his deck stairs - no takers - should have brought the camera..  GI disses me because I came fast so I of course have to rebuttal "did SSK tell you" ouch - he locks me out on the deck, leaving me by myself with my meat, while the rest get started chowing at the kids table.. 

So I just have to note that SSK & GI's house is really cool!!  They have nipples on their front door, a semi carpeted garage, rodie pictures everywhere, toys in the basement, a bucket next to the toilet (in case you miss due to split stream phenomenon), and also a picture of them on the toilet so they are looking at you while your doing your business (I had to flip it over)..  Speaking of nipples, we should go climbing soon..

So as I raid the fridge for condom-ents, I stumble across 3 bottles of reddi-whip, SSK is turning red as  PMD and I reveal her whip-it fetish..  Actually PMD and her used one bottle in the shower, before we... came (must have run out of shaving cream)..  And had to use another bottle for cream in the coffee, and im sure GI and her had whip cream on their cereal this morning as they have no milk..  Speaking of lactation paradox, havent seen sock stuffer in a while - did he get his bullit yet??

Anyway so I, of all people eat at the grown up table..  Food was excellent - Focker was busy eating his fufu pork at the kids table, while S&B had marinated skeweres, Joe dirt had a whole cow..  Conversation went downhill when SSK brought up the sex offender in south windsor.. "this guy had little kids in his basement" - pmd starts giving me dirty looks - "ITS NOT ME!!"  GI's new neighbors are so quite, they have never even met them, they just open the garage door, drive in and disappear.  SSk & GI may be naive - im pretty sure the couple is too busy 69ing eachoterh to socialize with a couple non swinging bikers..

UPward and onward to the cookie room for mtb videos..  S&B bails like SHAZZAM..  So GI the bastard puts this awesome video in that shows that every stunt I invent has already been made..  I see a see saw on top of see saw somewhere (the sea shore)  in the near future..  Ok maybe im the first to make a self destructing articulation spring actuated see-saw!!

Good pre-ride at the compound, great ride, excellent post ride!!

Rating - 5 fresh bottles of whipped cream..  Redi whip, is there anything it cant do?  Run out of propane cylinders for your nail gun - rediwhip..  Run out of katchup for your hot-dog - rediwhip..  Run out of white lightning chain lube - rediwhip..  Need to fill some helium ballons for a gonadvile commercial - rediwhip..  Want to go swimming, but forgot your nose plugs - rediwhip..  You go to a beach party, but forgot your swimsuit - rediwhip..  I could go on and on and will..  Drawing up blueprints for the next space shuttle but cant find a pencil - rediwhip..  Constipated? - rediwhip - just insert nozzle..  Do you have helmet hair after a ride and cant find your mouse' - rediwhip..

Nice game - special marinated sauce thanks to GI-Jane and Super Skirt...