Wallingford CT 6 June 2001 (AP) The players: Team Oranj, now Team Oranj and Blue...Steve (Everybody) riding Mango Warrior, Ally (Ox-Rider) on BBO, Big Blue Ox, aka BBB, Big Blue Biotch, (BBB is Ally's training bike for her 24 hour race this weekend). Similar to drag suits in swimming training or high-altitude aerobic training, BBB is equipped with 200 lbs of depleted uranium in the frame to simulate a very heavy bike for a more intense workout. Barbie was also there, riding the Barbie Oranj with still the same old decrepit fork...Jon, where's my dam fork? Out on the usual loop...Ally quickly realizes that every log, rock, or 1" branch she has to pull the bars on is equivalent to a 200 lb preacher curl...she complains of tennis elbow very early in the ride...to the 1st maze, Ally cleans the tough uphill, Barbie takes two shots to get it...(hey that first one didn't count, a rock moved...), and Everybody, well, he'll get it soon...on the downhill section, hey who cleared out all these trees?? Barbie takes a new line, and bounces off a rock with the front wheel and a log with the back, ending up riding a Poli...uh...Eastern European wheelie all the way down...nice!!! Continuing on, over the wall, and HEY!! why is it so muddy in here...big mud in the maze, past the Blair Witch curly tree, a few new obstacles on the downhill, nice....to the nemesis over the river uphill with the log in the middle...Barbie cleans it the first time (for the first time) Ally can't lift the 200 lbs to clear the log and plows into it with a resounding thud, and Everybody...well, he'll get it soon. More mud ahead, but wait, Barbie takes an insane log/rock bypass, and amazingly, cleans it!!! He's on fire!!! Ally tries to hop over a wall, but again, can't get BBO off the ground, and tips over still clipped in. Ox-tipping, a whole new sport!! Blood, blood and more blood...Steve and Ally are now bleeding from multiple flesh wounds....Steve says, Barbie, you're not bleeding..."I'm bleeding on the inside..." To the Pentagram and obstacles...no takers...to the drops, Barbie looks..."I've been to the edge, there I stood and looked down, y'know I lost a lot of friends there, so I wimped out and walked around..." Thanks Eddie (VH)... Down the fast section of maze, Barbie goes through the tree squeeze, and misses...falling over, still clipped in, hugging a tiny sapling for dear life... Through the shale climb...Barbie gets it again on the second (or was that third) try (hey that first one didn't count, I had a bug in my eye)....and then makes it across the off-camber shale infested ridgeline until the turn... Back to the main trail...getting late, Ally complaining she needs to go home and pack her stuff...(or whatever the kids are calling it these days..) We convince her to go to Smoky bar for one beer...but only if we take the short route back to the car...OK.. So into the mud we go...short yes, dry NO!!! Hey, this is the one where we have to cross the river...Barbie dives right in, pedaling like a freak through the three foot (MINIMUM) deep water, and makes it, only to endo in the mud puddle on the other side. Steve and Ally more sensibly carry across...however, Ally couldn't lift BBB, so had to call for a helicopter assist. Back to the car at breakneck speed...hey what's that grinding noise, oh just my washed-out crankset bearings...nevermind. To the Smoky Bar, where across the street there's a carnival going on....and I thought all the carney freaks were in the Smoky Bar!!! Our waitress brought us the all-important Black and Tans, and Ally's one beer turned into a full meal, and many many beers....would you expect any less? Disgusting fat boy basketball fan kept changing the channel on the TV over Ally's head...meanwhile slobbering on our table as we hovered over our food trying to protect our nachos from contamination... Rating: One slobbering basketball fan thrown off the malfunctioning carnival Tilt-A-Whirl, while eating a fried dough and cotton-candy sandwich...ground up and oozed out of a Sno-Cone machine. What color would YOU like!?? Barbie