There coming to take me away ha ha - Everyone stuffs it at meshomasic.. Almost a dirty dozen

The Crew Trouble, Brick, Crash Test, (Puke & PMD), Boomhower, Wild Bill (semi debut), Shake & Bake, Hot lips, TT, SS, and ALMOST PIT..  Focker must be having seconds on dessert, lets just hope its not a jim dandy.. bastard  So hot lips was late, pmd to wait, the rest of the crew headed up past the piss yellow gate..  We are not sure what happened to PIT, he must think we don't give a sh!t..  PMD sent him up to hell, maybe next time we'll outfit his bike with bells..  OK PEOPLE ENOUGH WITH THE DRUNKEN NURSERY RHYMES - BACK TO THE RECAP..  So were REALLY not sure what happened to PIT, but PMD sent him to the goat trail and he never showed up..  Sorry man - we really didn't mean to leave you behind, were you catching some last minute ZZZZ's in your trunk or what??  Onward so the crew zipped up the pavement, and headed down the goat, Crash follows me down the steep line to nowhere, onward, up hill downhill...  To the skinny log ride that's not on private property, I dab, think crash did too..  To the 5' 89 degree roller - after contemplation, calculation and curiously deep eyebrow raising thought, crash tries it and almost pulls IT off (and by IT, I mean that sack between his legs)..  Whacked em hard!, maybe you should try an SS and stuff some padding down there!  DOH!!  (I paid for that thought 1/2 mile later caught a seat to the groin)..  I was wondering, along with everyone else im SURE - if little animals like mice and rats get hit in the balls, and crumple there little furry bodies up in a ball, rocking back and forth till the pain goes away... I wonder...I wonder...  More on that subject later im sure... Onward the last section of goat there was a cheering section with cowbells, pmd and hot lips egging us on!!  TT was so excited from the audience that he stuffed it into a tree dead center, but bounced off like nothing happened.. still wondering, wondering if there are lesbian rats.

    OK - we have everyone (didn't notice pit is missing yet!), onward..  To the white uphill, awesome tech's, crash cleans almost the whole thing, the rest of us mortals dabbed a couple times..  Hey where's ken?  Was he with us at the goat trail? KEN!!  PIT!!  AAAAADRIAN!!  We yelled for the rest of the ride with no answer..  We determine that he must have taken the wrong trail and is most likely headed for area 51, where we will be in like 45 minutes..  Or he could have been abducted and analy probed, from which all the aliens learn is that 1 out of 5 humans doesn't mind it...  Ok sorry for the tangent  Left on old new white, love this trail, even clean the nemesis section, crash did too but he doesn't count..  Crash rides this new 20 foot insane mossy drop, almost a road kill landing but he squirrels out of it  (NICE JOB - Phew)  Strait to the last section, right on fire road (is everyone here except ken?), right again,    on semi fun fire road, left on yellow, left on long downhill..  At the top I decide to try out my Nancy Kerigan knees and do french fry rock, realizing I was in too low a gear too late, I stuff it on the landing, crash land on a root and still pulls through, Brick excecutes a PERFECT wheelie drop, smooth landing (he must be using one of those new sperm burper shocks)...  So Sock Stuffer STUFFS it at the top of FF rock and lands on his back..  I would go a little lighter on the stuffing..   Next big drop CT actually dabs on, and I clean, not sure about the rest..  CT and wild bill up front for the fun as hell downhill..  At the bottom, instead of bailing to the road like we usually do, we stayed straight, and did the nemesis rock garden..  CT cleans it!  Up slipery rocks, To another fun downhill, some great little drops, ramps, muddy section TT finds the line!!  More mudd, big log - this loop is great TCG doesnt know what he's missing..  Down to road to trail (wild bill rams me from behind) to road by res, to big intersection, trouble bails, we take a different trail home that is still going downhill.. "is everyone here but PIT and trouble?" This looop was amazing - all downhill, its a miracle..  Glide back to the car, break open some beers..  Travel to Chillis for FOOD.

    Ok - we should have seen the warning signs on the wall when we pulled into the restaurant and saw 3 police cars, and an ambulance..  Think I saw some body bags too..  If that wasn't enough PMD gets some foreign matter in her soup, and all our sandwiches come out like 75 minutes later, cold..  Thank god for drinks.. PMD had to leave to get some food..  The conversation was business like and mature as usual talking about how many rat hairs are in cereal and peanut butter, not to mention lead in chocolate, and how cars in the future will run off partially hydrogenated baby back rib oil..  And yes we are all waiting for them to but the baby, back in baby back ribs..

    So I just got home and MOAS is brewing up some beer.  I wonder how many cocker spaniel hairs are expected in each bottle..  A dogs mouth is the cleanest but a cocker spaniels ears are a whole different story..  PS - hes looking for some warts and yeast infection before he bottles..

The ride was possibly the best ride ever and is rated an ever so full 5 enormous buckets of rat heads that were chopped off with a $50,000 mini gilloteen custom made of medical grade Stainless in british columbia..  You might think im going somewhere with this, but I'm not..  Most think that peanut butter is made from peanuts, but my people now give me the shocking information that ALL peanut butter is made from Rat Nuts, and the teddy smooth peanut butter uses healthy organic rats that have no pubic hair around their nuts hence negating the HAIR and OIL  problem ..  Maybe next week, if your good, and its that time of the month, ill tell you where jelly comes from..

PS - This ride has been dedicated to Ken, alias PIT for his willingness to miss 2 rides in a row and not completely loose it (time will tell)..  Maybe ill come to your house and pick you up for the next ride...  If I didn't know better, I may have thought you were pulling an LUTC, it was a little nippy out..

To answer your question, yes I am high on opium once again - nice ride - PM