Day 5 - Gold bar rim - any rim is fine with me - a girl that spits out
gold bars down there would be fine too (if confused see leather pants
girl day 1). pre-ride organization was highly ridiculous.  Some guy
trueing Craig's wheel miraculously with his thumb ½ way up his ass.
News just in bush leads by 300 - I would rather have bush, since my
candidate crack was not running...  Anyway..  Start was Gemini bridges,
we hang out and ride wheelies next to a 1000 ft cliff..  Killer view..
Waiting..  Lets go - rallying the troops and now ally has problems, bike
problems..  Brand new shimano xt shifters Gonzo.. not gonzo technical
(must have used those magically strong fingers or the LGI protein mix),
time to bitch at whomever you bought them from - oh thats me..  So Max
and ally bail in search of the holy 8 speed shifter, and we ride
onward.  The moab curse is upon them for skiing for 2 days - whats
next??  Craig and I lead the pack down gemini - awesome fast trail,
rocks drops and of course I flat (a sand blower - flat tire classic)
hisssssss and I flip off gary once again..  To goldbar rim trail UP UP
UP..  K,k,k,k,ken gets a bloody nose and I offer a q-tip with vasoline,
then two french fries up his nose - fish called wanda style, dave offers
ken a stick.. He Lays on a rock for a while - and gets back on the trail
like a trooper.  Goldbar trail is thankfully well marked..  News flash
gary just jumped up out of his chair with a leg cramp and is hopping
around like a fool - yes laughing at others misery. Sorry for the
tangent.   Goldbar is in - mother - fing - credible..  Awesome drops,
insane climbs, lots of drop-ups we all cleaned the whole dam trail.  We
see more wild animals on the trail a pack of goats, wish I had a pack of
trojans so I could give them all a jump.  Ken wants to bushWACK the RIM
but he is out voted and we follow the spike trail down down down.  Oh my
dropoffs and drop-ups..  Up just a tad to portal, we are not 50 ft from
the car!!  Down the portal - insanity - we are riding down a 1000 ft
cliff..  Brian bashes his head - luckily on his helmet and craig just
about cleans the whole descent making MVP of the day!!  I made one
gggnarly spot just one ‘I see skidmarks'. Mad dog cleaning some sik
sections...  Dave - confusing portal with Porto-let Pffft echo phft Phft
phft. To the road kkkkken is waiting and we split up - pavement ride
home I flat again 50 ft from the car.. Actually it was about 1 mile so I
rode the rim back to the house and looked like a cripple (phht phht phht
phhht - audio byte)- 24 trip miles kids. QOTD ‘I know you guys are going
to be dicking around so I can whip it out' - the camera that is.  Trash
talk in the hot tub, then Dinner at la-hacienda, I have been speaking
the 15 spanish words I know all day.. I get my self mixed tequilla and
soda as per usuall and we head back to gemini bridges to find the tick
tack I dropped.

Rating - kidie pool full of elephant dung (and little timmy) you have to
clean him up.

 Lawn boy, steve, loyd and steph rode the slickrock today and had a
blast.  They made friends with a german couple dieter and helga but they
weren't interested in a 3-some so big steve tracked down a 12 year old
boy to follow.  Can you believe it took me till day 5 to introduce a
3-some - (its usually a first date thing)..

pm