Yup DDC (direct digital control or dirty dancing carol) raped me last night and I have the split stream markings in the bathroom to prove it - just kidding. Actually she was very nice, I gave her a long kiss on her lower lips and we said goodnight (twice). This girl tried to kill me! She didn't have a bomb or gun this girl tried to kill me - homeboy watch out for this one YO!!!!...... She told me to go left right left and I, intuitively went right left right to get back on the highway. Yes more butt prints on the xterra. hey yo PP - gotta BUTT??? UG - I mean UGH low fuel - pitstop in springfield (I was following rookies directions). So I get pulled over and the cop notices a peculiar white residue on my fingernails and is about to (club me) and take me in before I explain that I was climbing at the gym, really!! Its climbing chalk - really!!! look in the trunk you will see my climbing gear between the passed out girl in the halter top and the bag of pot plants. So he lets me go - Ally thats #20 on your list!!! Luckily I had a donut for him (no joke). bad cop no donut, good cop..... Previously we were at the smoky bar swilling drinks, thumb dancing and beating off carol with a stick (yes - the guys and girls). Rookie was impressed with this place. "get me out of here". Carol slapped me for no reason - and i liked it!! (WHy is it??.....) And before that we took a trip in the xterra (filled with THE most beautiful women (on this planet - not mars)) to trout brook lamery or the lame brew house full of dull people (ie they kicked us out). Good music during the drive, lots of everyone giving me shit about blow up dolls and oh - you will pay dearly. Deer - ass too tight run too fast. anyway... so we went back to the smoky bar. Before the xterra trip we ate, like starving ethiopians (with our chalky hands and feet) and scared the living crap out of our waitress. I bet MF and PP still have rice stuck to their cheeks and flies buzzing around their bloted stomachs. Honey Bunny (aka crazy lynn) showed up mid-meal and joined us. Too many conversations to keep track of but by the way mark - ddc has your business card HAAAAAA!!!! I owe you 6, but bought you drinks so were sort of even. On the way in mark had trouble opening the handicapped toilet stall door, but when someone tried to help I yelled out " do not underestimate the power of the handicapped" and with that he reached into his chalk bag and pulled the door open with ease. The MF sisters liked rookies plate, speaking of plates, they were WARM and felt good on the hands, face and yes FEET - ha ha (again scaring the crap out of the waitress). MF opened up a can of worms and brought up OUR old crossdressing days - can I borrow your leopard skin shoes? Can you say payback?? YOu should be nice to me as you enter the golden years with your bday coming up!! The table next to us is STARRING so I STARE back and they leave - end of story... Yes we did actually climb tonight (the HANDFUL of us that showed up), it was ME (myself and irene with a split stream - ha ha), MF (Magic Fingers), Rookie (QT F.T.G.), PP (princess Pam), Roller (bad week CD), and J-man (figure 4 mike) oh and venier (V!?). We all climbed..... well up the wall... what do you think we did - go up.. the hardest climbs there and clean!! with style.. Oh you dont believe us?? well show up next time!! Lots of good climbing actually - rookie kicked butt, pp was lacking butt inspection BUT(and it was a ....) looked ok from my perspective, MF was missing her ATC (yeah you know me), J-man gave some lessons, and roller looked like he was about to jump (loose the rope next time eh or at least fasten it around the neck). Lots of no - shows and excuses!!! Music was awesome at the start (hey someone stole my mello mix's), to a bit reserved, to tame, to kenny rogers to get me the F#$k out of here, im slipping into a COMAAAAA!!! Which brings me back to NOW (insert rap beat), my mission is plain, a big mack is calling my name, I gotta settle some of Ronald's cook so I raid my wife's purse when she's not looking.. pondering the wonderful thing called marriage, I accidentally back the car into a baby carriage...... (end beat). sorry for the mc900 tangent (again), !! Just got home brought out the garbage, walked inside and I see a 4 foot diameter easter basket full of dolls and crap - who slipped me the roughies tonight. Did I "accidentally" smoke crack? (again??) So I climbed in and fell asleep. Nice climb but much better form was found in the bar. I found a nice smoke detector hand hold and lamp to climb just before we got kicked out. They need to fasten those to the wall a tad better. Does anyone read these recaps??