Sat - yes its raining, no loyd is not here - Nassahegon - dead beat steve and I met LB and junior at the sand make that soup parking area.. Junior decided he would stay in the car and read as we headed out - I would have given him a ton of sh!t but it was at least a self help book so I think it was time well spent.. To say this was a slipery ride would be an extreme under-focking-exhaaageration.. Dead beat makes it up a very whimpy hill and talks about it for the rest of the ride "did you make that?". Up the logged area I clean some slippery logs that everyone missed but dont throw it everyones face like DBS.. Yes hypocricy is my policy as always.. Anyway ridge-ish trail to the quick left loop, junior (yes he really made it), does his Jack-knife truck impression on some slipery roots very impressive.. Thunder - always a good sign. Back up to the single track blue downhill, LB following my line on the slick rock like a champ!! I always said he went down well.. I make 5$ hill, the rest waddle up it like 3$ whores.. Ok time for johnycake mountain - REFT - It is f'ing pouring out and I was expecting alot of whining but to no avail - no crybaby soup - actually I was ready to bail myself but wanted to keep up the pukemaster image.. NEw territory for us - AWESOME trail!!! Technicalities, downhills, uphills, rivers, streams, rivers of raw sewage, as we near the top kieth bets steve $100 for making the hill climb (I have to do it in middle - dam).. Thunder and lightning, back to blue, down to the road, back to the car. I was so soaking wet my pump was full of water, my shoes weigh 35 lbs and my forearms look like raisins.. Nice ride - 4 buckets, of rainwater with those dried up earthworms floating on top, thats what i call protien drink, fill up your camel back and hope those worms dont get stuck in the mouthpiece.. Sunday - where the hell is everyone? ahhhhhh FA FA FAAAhk my leg just cramped up - Anyway Craig (OCT - original crash test) and I met at meshomasic where we waited for ally and rob for like a solid 30 seconds and hit the trail ( I did leave them a map of soapstone on the windshield though) - Up del reeves road to white, to blue off, through countless sections of mud, off the back we hit some nemesis climbs where OTC looses his water, Luckily I had some extra in my pump for him.. Down the grassy gnoll fire road we dodged bullets and sticks - right at gate - uphell for longtime - I barely freakin miss the gonzo uphill, OTC frustrated after 3 tries gives up (after doing like 500 vertical) - some great wheelie drops, slikery lunges, to blue, to to yellow, more drops fun stuff, left on fire road, back to yellow where we find an insane rock - OTC nails it wet!!! VERY nice, luckily we were being very loud and obnoxious, so ally used her pukemaster homing device skills (maybe its that micro chip she implanted in my head - she is in the electronics business) and tracked us down, joining us for the last couple miles of the ride (DOH!!) Rob-D makes some painfull noises 50 ft down the trail on rock drop #3 (ejection seat). Down the yellow lots of air ally liking all the "suprizes" uses the force and those voices in her head for encouragement.. Through the axle high stream - up the gonzo technical (listen to me know believe me later) fire road - yes fire road - OTC makes it the farthest - Yellow down again, through mudd (ally rolling in the stuff like a pig - you said it!) , big logs, Near crash on the dirt road (cant take these people anywhere!) - back to the reservoir - ahhh pavement - back to the car? not! .. Up to area 51, down the goat trail - I slip on a 2" log everyone laughs, and then follows suit flopping over their bikes, ally hitting the special g-spot on the knee that makes you feel like death - the moral OTS - never diss the pukemaster... Down the goat - I think I cleaned it, OTC crashes on the gap and almost falls off the cliff, ally there for applause, rob makes the gap with style and then gets launched by a pebble - Nothing like a wet goat is what I always say (BAAAAAH) oh maybe thats sheep - I have no preference - what do you do with goats, I know its common to f-sheep, and tip cows... anyway - please let me know.. Dirt road back to the car we ecounter first a ran-sacked car, then red neck style dog walking (follow your dogs in the car while drinking bud, thats why they put those rocks where we parked by the pond or they would be red neck fishing with thier poles out the window 1st geat trolling- anyway - racing style back- I loose - nice ride 15 miles for us ?10?ish miles for the late team.. 4.5 bud cans smashed into your head - oops the last one wasnt empty - nice pace Monday - time for a skenic ride (dunkin donuts tour) to leachfield - whitey memorial - Craig meets yoda, dead beat and I for a 13 mile moderate yet grueling for me ride around some reservoirs. HIghlights - fast ridge trail on the blue, 2 steep drops seniore P tackles a young sappling on the way down (yes, he hasn't gottenn any in a while), Dead beat walks 1/2 way down, then rides into us 1/2 way over the bars (do not understimate the power of the handicapped).. Nice sawed off log ramp thingy - I nail, craig dabs (first for everything), to the road - up some suck the life out of you grass to the suck the life out of you reservoir trail, up the suck the life out of you soft leaf trail, "my legs, I cant feel my legs" To the downhill, barking rotweiller restrained, to red downhill (sweet), Nice rock/log obstacle I call the dabalicouse groove (4th try for me), craig ops for the hairy downhill, nemesis garden up - we all miss 10 times but die trying, new trail brings us back to the dam, never follow the pukemaster, dead end, back down the dam, up the road, never follow the pukemaster, back on dirt roads that go up forever. NIce tour craig - thanks, just one section missed, lets try to get rid of all that fire road stuff next time. 3.75 buckets of sore asses - make that ass sores, ssstop it sssstop it you beast not now.. Later pm - PS my mother was very upset to find out that I am known as the pukemaster or bastard, Yes she should be prowd but it brought tears to her eyes so, please can someone give me a kinder name!