Black - Jack-ass 21 in MOAB... the players PM pukemaster, bastard, riding hogi yogi call me what you like diana PMD puke mistress di, energizer, eveready gary Seniore P, senorita P, riding trouble no joke Loyd lost loyd, CC, the pack master steff circling steff, lampless, sweeper big steve ally, magic fingers on mango then driving miss daisy, riding miss piggy, and missing mango (PB missing Durango) later MF missing in durango! Another milk carton episode? max PB pavement boy, skirt? Ehhhm (what you thought you were getting away with that?)riding the blazer ski rack invention, lawn boy - no grass in moab so he left early dave mad dog - cant afford a bike so he borrowed one from a college student ken cgm (clean green machine), PIT pukemaster in training riding kenedy, kkkkkkken, GQ jay roofus riding lefty with no brakes rich trouble, riding sugar - how sweet , he always has a spare craig crash test (we need to work on this), Ti boy bryan crash (we need to work on this)oh great now bry will be ti boy too - I cant win. don TOAST BOY or Toastman el tostino the toastman always eats twice, the toastmaster, toasty, slice em up dice em up dissect he puts em in a boiling pot and makes your ass sweat. nate _____ ed ______ bruce _____ john = natch di ______ Moab - Day 1 - travel - this is a cap in motion.. We just left st lois and this is what happened so far today.. Gary and Di try to sneak their bikes on without paying - gary says it's a trombone and obviously isn't a very good liar like myself. Di says quite honestly that her box is a baby's crib and gets off Scott free. Everyone made it to bradley for the first flight - some just in time (dave and bryan), they were punished for their lack of punctuality and forced to sit with the snobs in first class.. Dave see's me and gives me a friendly wave hello with his middle finger of course scratching some cheese out of his eye. Di and I sat in front of ally who made friends with her seat mates immediately. Wife swapping, brain surgeon old guy bent her ear for hours but had many a story to tell.'have you seen my baby?' - apparently he has... He was trying to lure her up to his place (wet nurse style) in farmington for mini golf, and to see the 'view' from his love bench. He claims to be in the military but im sure he had a dishonorable discharge among many other discharges.. After talking to me for short while he realized I was a gangster rapper with a protruding head that was much larger than his. ‘Yo yo I met this girl the other night super dope face and body skirt tight talking about latex suits, spike healed boots...oversized vibrators so that she could get loose.. this girl tried to kill me... didn't have a bomb or gun.. Home boys watch out for this one.. (I ask the stewardess for some ice-t). Ally got his # im sure - maybe we can park at his place to climb pinnacle!! Sorry honey bunny.. After landing Di and I ran away from WSBSOG and headed for our next flight. 15 minute layover - right on time.. 7 minutes to take off we realize that max and ally (oh and steve) are missing so we talk the pilot into letting us off the plane and find them at the ticket counter demanding first class seats with no freaks - apparently none available. As we take off I see max and ally chasing down the plane in the distance.. Hope they make it to salt lake! Seniore' P (thats gary) gets the most harrassment in 5 seconds from everyone in our group. He is sitting next to 2 chicks - one in leather pants - and as we walk by we all give him tons of sh!t. ‘gary - looks like you have your hands full' ‘you the man, you the mang' ‘ shall I get out the video camera?' and on and on - they must have thought he was a celebrity knowing all these people - but he was in coach.. Yup seniore P will be taking a few trips into the restroom..(Just cracked myself up) Speaking of the mile high club, di and I just invented a new club - its called the 16 feet above the runway club. The Guy Who Is Sitting next To me is reading this as we speak - Crome dome - tiny the bouncer look alike Hey you if I wanted you to read this i would have brought a portable printer, gave you a copy and stapled it to your shiny head.. Oh hey ally and max did make it - they are holding onto the wing - 5.11b at least (might be a bad hair day).. Gary and leather pants update - she gives him her ham? And then gets the other ones cookies - all he has to offer are his chips...‘Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Why can't I Remember what I said - must have been that crack pipe at age 6. Sherpa Sammy is in the next aisle and is a little off course as he looks at the twa, shopping catalog world map and points at the Himalayas with a ? Over his head.. Cant get there from here . Chrome dome just took out his palm pilot (envious of my laptop) and is now writing me a message - no joke.. Hey weenie boy...... He must be mute too! Too Funny we get off the plane and max and ally were actually IN first class but they were to busy sipping wine and eating ben & jerry's to say hello (for 3 hours though?? - SNOBS) I was 3 ft from them!! I snatched (say it again snatched) up the rental car and waited with anticcccccippppppation - while waiting I INADVERTENTLY witness leather pants girl #2, girl with $100 bills falling out of her rear (pocket that is) Yes we are all looking for that girl spitting out bills down there like an atm machine - the new definition of the ultimate women.. SO much for the def dumb and blind girl who owns the package store and can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.... HUH. Sorry was that in poor taste? Di is driving - its snowing, a mear blizzard gary and I are back seat drivers. Some famouse quotes ‘ were about to hit price where you can get food booze prostitutes etc... Just because you charge me di... - doesn't make you a hooker. Smack my bitch up is playing on the radio, the moon is full and seniore P needs to take a leak. Rating - 5 girls in leather pants.... Burried up to their necks, in the snow covered dessert, waiting for seniore P to save them when he pulls over to take a leak, on their heads.. melting the snow and frozen ground for their escape - "seniore'P your my hero!".. (I did not write this). Next up Day 2 slickrock