Big K-weekend in VT, blue light special at the house of pain. Too many players to list so here we go. Fri night - drinks at the night spot and a great band. Sat. subline, food and a drive to rutland - ride around a small parking lot for 2 hours, then we split into groups, the riders that were sick of riding in circles (geriatrics "intermediate" group), the riders that couldnt figure out how to ride in a circle (do not underestimate the power of the handicapped "beginer" group), and the "expert" group who just went into the woods and dropped their pants "adiose pantalones!!" ha. Whats that len album dont forget the bum rush?? I the pukester was tempted by expert but was afraid of riding with "ringers" again, so advanced geriatrics it was. We started with a cold ass pavement tour in the slums of rutland and found a piss trail, Barbie crashing 50 ft from the trailhead. The ride started, well, slow, continued, slow and ended slow. My great grandmother passed us going up the trail with a 65 lb backpack. Actually some of the riders were sporting anvils and grappling hooks so Ill cut em some slack......(ers) Our Fearless Focking leader ryan (U-turn) was a great rider but did not like anyone passing him - especially on a home depot bike with a pukester at the wheel. Nicole RMB rub my butt was the caboos (no pun i.)/ sweeper, responsible for picking up the dead corpsisesssss on the trail "bring out your dead" - by the way natural selection "yes please" and "I wish" .. "bang on", some nice terrain, but pretty easy (bunny slope material), nice focking day too!! If this were a real ride... well.... we would be riding.. CG riding DOC has nasal problems (translation - coke habbit) PMD falls asleep twice. This place is just like case mountain but entirely different!! We did 10.369 highly ridiculouse miles, including a kung foo grip downhill and some good air time. All kidding ass-ide and it was good ass-ride, I even put a nice hole in my arm DOH!! lamo.. Yes I suck!! Kaptain Khaos (andy debut) doesn't mind getting muddy!! More pavement, I cut MF and PMD off several times, and U-turn finds us some nice street jumps!! From here we decided to check out some of rutvilles fffine dining. The dingaling dirty ming duck long dynasty had the absolutely positively best and I mean like the most mother focking best bad chinese food I have ever had. Definite gold medal for being bad. I "joked" about the msg saturated food as I was seeing double after the first won-ton, but listen to me know believe me later, barbie finds a barrel in the bathroom labeled MSG 100 lbs, this place reminds me of the movie naked lunch.. Anyway - we lived, barely "its not as bad as it looks, and it looks pretty focking bad" bastard Cry baby hot and sour soup for me wasn't completely bad, just better thant the taste of soggy dog food - not that I would know, let me ask max - he agrees!! HOP - shower although I don't think our group broke a sweat - well I didn't quite - just some blood, and of course tears. Rain, Hail, gondola to the top then snow, typhoon, hurricane blizzard earthquake tsunami (the wave in my shaking drink). Dinner at the peak - awesome food, some drinks, and some shinanagones. Barbie puts PP in a headlock, I grab her feet and drive her around the lodge. Barefoot walk to the gondola to prove my public drunkeness and lack of feeling, then to the pickle jar. Great Focking band, captain ron wearing black flaming shirt was tearing it up, superman sporting large gang like gold jewelry, and ally wearing some size 69? PA jeans, Di and I were dressed in ESPNwear a new line of progressive yet casuall kick boxing wear. Oh barbie - skirt.. Bouncing Barbie and I do the 5.11 dyno to the moose?sign, and stoney tries to get us drunk on turbo's. PMD catapolts MF to the ceiling beating our 5.11 dyno move.. Did I mention I quit drinking sun am? Captain ron gets chased home by topless women on roller skates and CK captain Khaos, me pukester, barbie the bambino, CR, Low clearance christine - haaa and kath? the "softball" player I need ginko from somewhere hot tubbed it for hours. 6 drunk fetuses in a tub - doesn't get any better. Barbie does a barn door piroette and lands on his head - not spilling a drop of his beer. Captain ron leaves a note of desperation 911. PP bed hopping with the girls. PMD sleeps with 3 guys - jane you ignorant slut and we all have breakfast in the am. Superman cooked up a feast, but pmd and I bailed early. Captain ron woke up with a sore but, jamie sat down and "cut the cheese". good ride, great food, better drinks and a goup of some nice mother focking adults?? Thanks for planning this organized ride superman its much appreciated!!!! rating 10 lbs of msg, 9 cups of crack, 8 plumbers cracks, 7 sore butts, 6 dropped pants, 5 hunters hunting, 4 dead hunters, 3 lesbians licking, 2 eggs for breakfast and a bastard on brunswick in rutland who whipped out over a birch tree... phew.. how'd I spew that out... - thats all folks till the next time and sorry for the "highly" mother focking "ridiculous" long recap but I have a whole page due for my childrens writing class this week.