Recap Translator (new crapola in BOLD)

• America Jr. = Canada (thanks TH)
• Crap Shoot = Recap with pictures (thanks OBD)
• Skin Pistons = Little Games Pipes
• Full Pull - OBD classic line - Trip all the way down any log ride over 100 ft - Tracktor pull style
• LOGSTACLES - Stuff you put in the trail to block others (el crap classic - do you speak crap??)
• FWO - Front Wipe only
• FW - Front Wiper
• HIT - Hippie in training
• Hipometer - How hippie are YOU
• FD - Finger diaper
• FWO - Front Wheel Only - Riding with your front wheel on the log or guardrail or rock or debris while you back wheel is on the dirt.
• Queefing - A special mix of QMing and dry humping.  While hopping up and down on a rock as you can hear the air suck in and out of your shocks, congratulations you are now Queefing.
• Rope Tow - When you grab onto a riders back hair (male, female or most likely trans gender) to tow you down the trail..
• KA - The once king of cedar 54, now retired due to excessive poperazzi harrasment.
• Progressive - An insurance company that fixes your shock 3 times for the price of 1.
• Hippie Ride - Any ride that starts 4 hours before most people get out of work
• Triple Thurlundy - An epic triple at Westwood's that Charlie brown conquered
• Sheets - What women say when they want to "huck"
• Sheets - What PMD cleans her bike on in the kitchen
• "your a good rider" - What we say to bad riders to trick them into commitment
• Cameltini = When you make a martini with a plastic shaker henceforth making it taste like the plastic in your camelback.. "Its cameltini time"
• Snookems - A rogue trail in CT built by cuddling elves - Shore's gonna kill me
• Bikerag hags - The scorned ladies of bikerag.com
• Bullite - A light bullit
• Blue steel - PM's new look
• "grabbing the pole makes it harder" - Croosy woods pole riding logic
• To canniball :v. (1) to take parts off one bike and put them onto another, making one bike inoperable and the other one barely servicable. (2) to work on your bike while watching old Burt Reynolds movies
• Free weight: (from Neb)
  The weight you start to gain by being SO Freeride and not SO XC anymore.
• Scrotal Indecision - n, when life (wife, work, house, offspring) has you by the balls so much that you can't decide where and when to ride
• "you little bitch" = cedar
  "whore" = cedar
• Cedar - The wood you will taste if you ride 166
• Sovereign Syndrome - When you ride a trail twice, just on principal.
• SPOOP = Loop With Spurs
• Toothpick = Any log ride thats skinnier than your tire
• Technical in Virginia = Hilly
• Technical in West Virginia = Muddy
• Hot Lips Hole = Any hole in the ground that sucks your wheel in potentially sending you over the bars, if you see one, make sure and warn the others behind you "HOT LIPS HOLE!!"
• Barstooling - When a trail is so twisty technical you have to loosen your seatpost clamp and spin around the corners..- thanks - Jane
• Twiggle - Those twitchy buss driver jolty maneuvers you have to make when manipulating small jungle like trees at middlesex, or cockoponset..
• Log Chicken - Kind of like gay chicken, but completely different..  When you and your buddy are about to ride the same pole but in opposite directions, whoever drops off is the looser, if you BANG into each other its a sword fight..  Joe dirt is always playing log chicken, this is his game..
• Trail braiding - when you cant ride the trail, so you add an easier trail next to it, then an easier trail next to that, and then finally, 2 more easier trails that will also get braided..  Trail braids are "sissy trails", or "pussy paths"
• Sissy trails - Trails made by trail sissies - We don't like trail sissys..  Improve your skill, not the trail.
• Ghetto trail = Any trail at woodbury or any trail with more than 2 oil tanks and a plow..
• Trimming Bush - Getting your woman ready for that digital camera photo shoot OR bringing the hedge trimmers to Tyler mill because your sick of bloody face shots..
• Piggy Backing - Its a new sport - when you follow someone over a stunt or do multiple stunts at one time with 2 people or more..  See Jane & puke on see saw, Jane and dirt on blind faith, puke and jane on glory pole..  
• Century Ride:     No, this isn't some long road-weenie ride.  This is when you drive around northern CT for more than one hundred miles with your mountain bike on top of your car, looking for the ride location.  Barbie is the only known BikeRag member to be this stupid.  Thanks to HLM for directions (with wrong road names), Hot Lips for leaving her cell phone at home, and finally, really, to Tony Hawk for the vectors to final, without which I'd still be lost in Stafford or Tolland or somewhere.  At least I got to ride around the parking lot for half an hour before it got dark. (1:15 was the originally scheduled ride time)
• Boner Stem - Any stem greater than 35 degrees
• "smuggling yo-yo" - see camel toe
• Cross-Stuntry - Riding singletrack for the sole purpose of getting to the next stunt.
• Carpet Tunnel Syndrome:   Should also be an excuse #, when your wrist is sore from too much snakerbating while staring at carpet tunnels vie DVD or the internet..   Solution, switch hands or buy a blow up doll..
• QM1 = Granny 1, QM2 = Granny 2, need I go on "what gear are you in?" "QM1" ready to huck..
• Kill Ratio: A fraction equal to the number of times a person has actually shown up for a ride divided by the number of times you’ve called them to ride (e.g. 9/16 = 9 rides for 16 calls (not bad)). Rider motivation decreases as Kill Ratio approaches 0.

  Kill Ratio Threshold. The arbitrary point in the Kill Ratio where you decide that the likelihood of this person actually going for a ride is so low that it’s not worth your time to call, effectively freezing the kill ratio forever.

• Vitamin G = Gonadvil , increase your testicles before the ride (for men only)
• Vitamin J = Jizz, high in protein, good for your hair, so many benefits and its available under the counter.. (mainly for women)
• Vitamin I = Ibuprofein
• Big Birding - to ride in the bedroom instead of the trails..
• Gi-Jane-ing - or Jing for short - to concentrate soley, on one sport, so much that you forget how to brush your teeth..
• Tramp Maintenance - When you lube your hoes with white lightning, or when you work on trails and ramps in one session.
• Intermission - That crucial time between riding and snackerbating..   or when you have to talk your buddy into dumping his significant other under an alchohol induced interogation atmosphere with dim lights and skanky hoes..
• Intervention - When you talk someone out of riding a stunt or drop, I have yet to see this occur..
• Circumvention - To create a trail around a stunt so that your Gram-mamma can ride it, or if you forgot your seat and have that post crammed half way up your ass, to simulate a pavement tour, then and only then can you legally circumvent the stunt..
• Bike-Bagging  = Its not what you think, BBing is a new sport, developed by bikerag.com to properly exercise your upper and lower body during the off season.. BBing is spinning while you hit the speed bag..
• Snacker-biking = Sitting on your trainer and eating, instead of pedaling.
• Biker-Bating = Sitting on your trainer, while watching porn DVD's and and strangling your monkey, until your chain and floor is covered with white lightning..
• balance blackout n. that short time during almost every ride when you start
  to fall, lose your balance without reason, or seem to be unable to clean
  even the simplest obstacle.
• beartrap 1) v. to slip off a pedal, causing it to slam one in the shin, when
  one gets kracked with a pedal. 2) n. the toothlike scars resulting from
  being beartrapped.
• bolt-on = a woman with breast implants. Derived from the term for
  after-market bicycle parts that are literally bolted on.
• Rim Bra =  the rubber strip placed inside the rim to protect the tube from the
  nipples.
• cranial disharmony = how one's head feels "When my lid nailed that rock,
  I had a definite feeling of cranial disharmony."
• death cookies = fist-sized rocks that knock your bike in every direction
  but the one you want to proceed in.
• half-track = a trail so narrow and/or overgrown that you'd hesitate even to
  call it singletrack.
• HOHA = Hateful Old Hikers Association. "HOHA members hate mountain
  bicyclists with a fervor exceeding that of rabid wolverines."
• 
  STI = "Shimano Total Integration" -- a marketing ploy that forces you to
  buy new brakes when you replace your shifters.
• PMing - is when you ride instead of work or when you ponder when to ride, who to ride with, and where to ride, instead of working and although you have all the free time in the world, you avoid any commitment to riding before the last possible second..
• love it at levitz - is BT's term when we're in our groove at the neeps and the mojo's flowing free willy
• Free-Standing - Its just like free-riding, without the commitment.
• Destuntifying - when people remove stunts from fun trails
• QM'ing - To contemplate a stunt or drop, with hands on hips.
• Crank Spankers - People who only ride when puke is riding so they can get press on there awesome hucking and shucking capacity..  Crank Spankers tend to ride case instead.  People who dont show up for a ride are usually home cranking there spank or spanking there crank..  I could go on for days..
• Bertical - Hiking up a trail with bike on back - or when your dog (bert) jumps for a frisbee
• momental - you just cleaned your first 4 foot drop, now you are momental than you were before
• Anti-Social Ride - when you setup a group ride but basically ride (hammer fest style) like you are being chased by Satan, not daring to look back and see who you have lost permanently in the dust..  And if you cant Shake em, Bake em..
• 5th element - A movie with Bruce Willis - Ironically X-husband of Demi more who was in Gi-Jane and of course strip tease..  Oh the irony..  OH - also a shock on the most recent fad - Santa Cruz Bullit..  Also ridden by GI-Jane..  Its all about GI-J these days - 15 minutes are up..
• Shiver - when the group ride stops for too long and its snowing in moab or a shock made by marzocchi that makes your frame break..
• Cluster Focking - To gather and gab at the bestest most technical part of the trail..
• "the clinic" - where you go when your break your leg at valley falls, or where you bring your D-O-G after the Xterra accidentally runs him over..
• sleeveless jersey - an expensive shirt guys can wear when they are feeling "fresh"..
• Touron - Moronic Tourist of sedona     by M.M.
• Lactation Paradox - When you suck on your significant others nipple and milk squirts out - you go running..
• Huck - when your about to puke while riding so your throw your beautiful bike forward and out of the way, saving it from bile stains.
• Metavomit Trail - A stunt trail at case made by an albino Wizard dressed in an orange moo-moo, and doctor sues hat..
• GonadVil - A new drug made by azcycles that increases your gonads and reduces your fear of death.
• GonadVil PM - see above but for night rides (extra strength)
• Free Ride - TO ride without underwear
• Snacker-bation - Eating while you spank your monkey
• Snacker-Lapping - Eating a crab sandwich while you get a lap dance at club supersex - EH?? - alternate definition by trouble would be "lapcrabbing"
• Orange Dick - Spanking your monkey after eating cheetos - thanks trouble!!
• baton - that round stick with numbers on it that you carry suppository style in every 24 hour race..  "Give me the stinkin batton"
• Bail Cycle - When you ride up to a stunt more than 12 times and you dont even attempt to do it..  Like its going to get easier???  This can be solved by taking 2 Gonadvil tablets see above..
• Training wheels - Salt and lime for tequilla shots by M.M.
• sprocket - those flamers on SNL "lets dance - dance with me"
  50 ft from the car - Its all downhill to the car.. - encouragement for the desperate, and weak lunged.
  dab - to put your foot down instead of riding
  smear - to wipe snot on a tree
  clean - what some analy retentive riders do to their bikes
  jerk - anyone on the trail that gives me sh!t in 5 seconds, or what you do when not riding.
  clean and jerk, when you wipe out and have to lift your heavy FS bike off the ground.
  riders up - this is the idea - stay off the ground
  riders down - rider has fallen and get get up (or get it up you decide)
  boneyard - a place to take your pit-bull for a walk, or a great place for a social, make that so-lo ride.
  backyard - a place to build highly ridiculous obstacles that you only try when your drunk.
  Middlesex - if you are in the middle of sex, you are not here, most likely.
  case - how much beer Jody buys for post ride, how much beer LB drinks pre-ride
  Kase - Many K-mart shoppers are riding here these days, watch out for the blue trail special on wed nights.
  SOAPstone - what we need after a ride, but go to the bar anyway, if your showering with any of us..I wouldn't drop the soap either.
  carbo - loading - Drinking heavily before a ride in liue of ibuprofen.
  Tyler mill - where the hell is tyler mill?
  granny - that lady you see on the trail that feeds you chilli dogs and choc chip cookies
  granny - that gear you use way too often according to PMD
  single track - what that cop in moab looks for running up and down your forearms.
  fire road - a trail on the nipmuck where tigers jump through flames
  kevlar tires - flame resistant for those trailer park rides
  technicality - any riding manuever that makes you think for more than a second.
  wheelie drop - when you pull up so hard on your handlebars that you land on your back.
  bail - when your boat leaks, or bike MYSTERIOUSLY breaks, you can safely bail..
  trials - riding up anything hikers have difficulty walking up
  hikers - people that litter on the trail.
  endo - when you cross the finish line before your bike
  superman - see endo - see dan - see dan endo
  shimano - a bike company run by bill gates
  hogi yogi - This is what I ride
  couch - this is what you ride, after the ride
  pukesicle - a popsicle made of puke - yum
  roadies - bikers with very long necks, shaved legs and funny bikes with no suspension
  Moab - a place where its very difficult to get a real drink, easy to get arrested and it is never cold or snowy
  Westwoods - where we stay in Moab - a beginner ride in CT
  camel back - just like camel toe, but completely different
  trail map - we leave this at home or in the car, but dedicate our lives to making them.
  blue trail - any trail that leads to K-mart
  Vietnam - You convince yourself that if you were actually in Vietnam, during the war, and being shot at, that the 30 foot drop could be attainable "someone must be riding it!"
  Trail of tears - any ride with me
  bushwack - what the cops can arrest you for in a state forest
  bushwacking - instead of admitting we are lost, we are bushwacking.
  social ride - a ride that ends at a barstool, and some times behind bars.
  "no bikes" - that means just one bike at a time
  chain suka - when you spend hours trying to turn your bike into single speed after derailure damage
  maintenance - I have no idea?
  climb - what we do all winter, in lieu of spanking monkeys
  fire - match stick trail maintenance
  recap - a bad recap, or when you shoot someone who is already dead.
  nobbies - see turkeys ready - climbing dictionary
  pit crew - pukemaster in training that will some day learn to change their own flat tires.
  grip - see spanking monkeys above
  stem - this is a climbing move
  spoke - when you forget your bamboo skewers on vacation, they work good for shrimps on the Barbie (thats barbie-que, not barbie the bikerag rider who must be rescuing some young ladies from a helicopter crash right now..)
  nipple - Go for the brass ones or brown ones, nothing in between..
  clip less - Pedals that actually have clips - go figure
  fearless
  no - fear
  big ring - what we use to get over rocks and logs.
  cable -
  rail trail - remove your tires and ride the train tracks - james bond style
  brail trail - when a day ride becomes a night ride

Nice teeth - see below

Perfect breasts (o)(o) 
Fake silicone breasts ( + )( + ) 
Perky breasts (*)(*) 
Big nipple breasts (@)(@) 
A cups oo 
D cups { O }{ O } 
Wonder bra (oYo) 
Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) 
Lopsided breasts (o)(O) 
Pierced Breasts (Q)(O) 
Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p) 
Grandma's Breasts \ o /\ o/ 
Against The Shower Door Breasts ( - )( - ) 
Android Breasts | o | | o | 
Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($) 


Trailsurfer Nicknames

New Nicknames - listed from most lame girlie girls on top to most extreme on the bottom!!