Insert praga khan beat
poison, Poison, POIson, POISON, injected with a poison - you dont need
that in your wheaties....

First last week (was that an oxymoron? im working on my english) -
Focker and I were on a mission to flop - early - 5:30.. Warm up new
red. Then off to 5.12a green white striper for gary (he has it down to
one gyrating flop now). Lots of beta flying out of my butt. I frop
just twice on the 13- orange by skipping hand holds - feel the pain..
SOB shows up with chilla pet and tounges the rug doctor upon arrival -
yes zero to licking in 1,2,3, seconds - gotta love it.. "can I put my
harness on before you berate me" sob .. "you can put whatever you want
on"... More berating, more fropping.. Focker gets on the 11+ pink
arrett and actually flops up it with some style!! Un-beta helped.. I
got schooled on the skywall purple (or was it lavender gary??).. DOH..
"you 2 should both strap in".. 12a GW back room I was able to flop up
again - actually I climbed the 12 black up to the "move" - Yes they call
me the rainbow kid. DR J shows up, watches me flop and lets us know that
she is with a friend? I guess -invisible friend or imaginary friend?
(since she is indeed
alone!), and pat him on the head like the little man from bennie hill.
NO JOKE.. Im sure if we were at the smokey bar later I could have
flicked an olive in the nearest set of tatood cleavage too!!

insert praga khan beat
donuts, Donuts, DONuts, DONUTS, injected with a donut - feel the rating
bary G.

Monday - day after the "superbowel" - I just "crack" myself up - there I
go again, I could write for houres and not actually say anything
meaningfull.... ANYfockingway The "team" - DR J., FOCKER (and son) doh,
DJ Coffee-e, puke. LG (little guy), works on 5.6 and has to do
ridicurouse moves because of his slight height dissadvantage (my 7'
unbeta just made things worse), his next climb orange slab went much
better - one flop - great moves.. Speaking of moves that brings us to
Dr J on the new 5.8 SOB Blue - Not sure what it was called, but it must
be named TWISTER for all the contourted body movements DR J was in to
reach the top.. Must be a great route!! nice job SOB!! Focker Climb #2
- CLEANS the 5.12a green white, then dabs just once later on the 11+
pink - listening to my beta now, but beleiving it much later.. Focker -
"Your slackin - no new quotes on the website".. (Its like I felt this
harrasment coming on ) "well focker if you went on the website as of
this afternoon, you would have a found a brand new fresh quote of the
day "" New heterosexually challenged QOTD "smell those lilacs" -
focker.. Are you following this or did I use to many "quotes" in that
last "sentence?".. Anyway - had to be there - he shrank a couple
inches, (in height you sick-"o"s) barry was not here to tell
otherwise.. Onward - DJ coffee E - Nemesis 11c biege - flop, then I
flop, he laughs, hold spins, then HE CLEANS although he lost some style
points at the end when he did a new move called a Doggie Door - just
like the barn door - yet utterly and completely different. OK - I have
to breathe now - take a break and drink some of that moldy coffee from
yesterday - AHHHH... ONward - almost clean the 13- (3 times) - one flop
and yell out FOOOOOOOOCK, injuring the ears of youngings below (and
some turkeys I might add).. If they take that route down before I clean
it, I may just go mental (and yes you bring up a good point).. So im
thinking Dr J had an off night because her invisible friend was not
there to chalk her up while hanging endlesesly from that 5.9... OK back
to coffee - So i look up and DJ coffee E Cleans the 5.10c white!! "mark
what did Dina (evil D) put something in your wheaties this a.m."
coffee-e " YES and thats why I didnt have any" DOH.. OK that was all.
OH wait a minute - I flopped on the 5.12 GW lock a salmon on cardiac
arrest, and then, previously made myself look more gay for a chance with
the "Tipey Toes" coment - In my defense I was trying not to swear and
speak disney, and I was on drugs, and confused (but not in that way that
bary and gary and some others are confused).. OK thats enough Beratement
for one night my freakin right hand is sore, yes that god damm monkey..


Rating = constipation prize! - 5 chocholate crullers shoved so far up
your but the first one is coming out your mouth (and im not just "sugar
coating it"), put em back on the shelf for dollar off donuts in the
morning. Transation - the rating is a 5 donut enima, and of course bary
is the only one willing to bend over and take the beta for "the team"..
And remember crap twice - skip the whipe - and save a tree - Hey thats a
good politcal slogan - remind me later in life

NICE and I mean NICE FOCking CLimb.. PM sob sob... im so proud of you
guys!!

PS - Craping on holds is a crime at the climbing gym. Punishment is 6
months at mountain fun.. Please stop craping on the holds - especially
on my nemesis.