First what everyone missed in the past couple weeks. Lets see
Seniore 'p has Rainbow girl show him her victoria secretions (but not
her cookies yet), and later meets Layla the german austrian australian
climber with the nice teeth and excellent posture (turkey's ready).
Seniore P and I meet D and company at sabaticals (stalker??) and
we reluctantly get a table for 4 (no she isnt that big - she had a
friend with her).. So I agree and "do it for the team".. Not that I
was doing anything, but "it" would describe her friend.. What a man has
to do... Ok lets see shake and bake has joined the "army" and been
pretty busy with basic training but at least has been practicing his
knots and breathing through duct tape. "this girl tried to kill me - she
didnt use a bomb or gun...." He did clean the 5.10b yellow and new 5.10
+?? white at some point and almost I said almost beat me up the 5.9?
PINK. 5.12 backie came down before BTB could clean it - speaking of
who - I wonder if is off getting dumped in some 3rd world country?? BTB
cleans the 5.10d, 5.12 blue. Steve and sullys (lesbian bar) is no
more, the new spot is 3 blocks up the road - brickroad pub and lickery.
PMD (the gimptress) broke her toe in a drunken stupor (or maybe some of
the satans toe cheese crawled out of my climbing shoes and infected
her), shake & bake caught tennis elbow and roller is sporting a new
wheelchair. F4 is MIA. Barbie got a harness for ken - what the fighter
pilot harness isnt good enough for her??. SOB is cold. THe magic
sisters made an appearance as a double package deal, and magic fingers
quit her day job for a new modeling job in new york. She returned
dissapointed as they wanted to paint her blue and roll her across a
canvas (yes nude). She just fired her agent.. OH - NEWS flash -
Seniore P is Not gay - he plans on trying to look less gay by not
tucking in his shirt - any other suggestions, oh yeah stop saying
fantastic and fabulouse so much, oh stop it.. Too - Oh and try not to
shop for antiques so much, any knowledge of furniture may give you away.

Northampton athletic club - look out - the members cringe as we
enter the gym (Seniore 'P tried to sneak in mission impossible style
"dun dun dun dun dun do di do do di do".) and who is there to greet us
you may ask?? Dessert girl - stalking again - Seniore P came and she
left (typical). About the size of the sucky gym but twice as high BUT
really cool people. The wall was so high, I got a nose bleed, seniore
P got altitude sickness and gumby hired a sherpa. I may start climbing
here to get my body acclimated for jackson hole. You may need to chew
gum so your ears dont pop - get the picture. Nice routes with their
own highly ridicurouse rating system. W0 to W9. So I start out with a
W8 to warm up but find out that its a 5.11 - DOH. Gumby and Piss have
difficulty with the gree gree. Gumby lowers me slow (like watching a
plant grow) but steady, and P makes me feel like a yo yo - his head
kept snaping around to the aerobics room looking for turkeys. Plenty of
scenery at this gym that will get me killed. The walls were really cool
with awesome arretts and features. I climed every W7 and W8 in the gym
while gumby and Pee tackled the w5 and w6's. Gumby pulling of some
dynamic moves!! Piss almost cleaned the YELLOW overhanging route.
Gumby likes poney-tail guys butt and gary and I agree that it looks like
he just lost his load in his pants. THe best thing about this place....
Are you ready for this... There is a donut shoppe inside 50 ft from the
wall - no joke.
After a great crime we hit Fitzwillys in northampton for drinks,
food and bad conversation.. I get sh!t within 2 seconds as I ask to be
seated in the non smoking section - Deisel dyke hostess~"the whole town
is non- smoking" - PM~"Then it shouldnt be too hard to find us a
table"... So they sit us in the back corner - no joke. Gumby talks of
vacationing in europe with other women, topless beaches (with her
mother) and of course "snorkeling" yes TWTKACITD. GUmby still thinking
of poneytail mans butt - "I think he is packing right now" - "and not
his luggage" Changing the conversation she points to the crack in the
brick above our table that ends at big hole (nice try) - anal crack 5.9
listen to me know believe me later (see ragged mountain guide). Other
topics of conversation - vibrators with fresh batteries - with raw meat
to get rid of that plastic fealing - make that $1 off meat - new
england bearded clam pie - Blow up dolls - credit cards on topless
bars.... They kicked us out and gumby called gary sweetie "pie"..
Hmmmm..
Driving home the gumby mobile was like a techno dance party (ecept
completely different). I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue as
seniore P was choosing between the dixie chicks and grease soundtrack.
Gumby almost misses the exit as we cut across 3 lanes on 2 wheels -
again listen to me know....Dooooonuts on the way home, gumby cant wait
to see gary's bathroom with split stream wallpaper. (someone might want
to check on her - the phone wire in the xterra is missing) Nice crimb,
great food and possibly the worst conversation to date. I was appauled.

Rating - 5 deisels on a snorkeling trip in the shark infested waters of
the carribean. THe captain and deck hand of the boat are
carnivorus-necrofeliacs (ok who isn't these days) who just chummed the
water with mackeral blood and guts and are reaching for their "poles".
"if the sharks dont eat them the PROPELLER will!!" DOH Whats for dinner
- blood bath tourist soup - im sure the bones make a good human stock.
slurp. Waiter, there is a hair in my soup... oK thats all. IM done.
Perdona me.

PM

PS - be nice to the monkey - the monkey likes you